When I first moved out to Vegas, people in both Las Vegas and Brunswick (the city I came from) began to ask the same question, mostly as small-talk chit chat, but i never knew how to answer it.  For a long time, I just gave the people the answer I knew they were looking for, because I didn’t have a better answer formulated in my brain.  Finally, after over 2 years, and talking to other people at CRCC who had the same issues, I am ready to come clean:

QUESTION(S): "So, did you feel called to Canyon Ridge?", "So, did you know Canyon Ridge was where you were meant to go?"
ANSWER:        "NO"

Surprised?  I think most people would be.  The truth is, I never heard the voice of God say "GO TO CANYON RIDGE IN LAS VEGAS….".  This may shock, surprise, and even offend some Southern Baptists I know.  But the truth is, I’m not sure that anybody ever really has heard that (with some exceptions I understand).  In my case, i believe it happened like this:  The early years of my life were spent developing my spiritual walk, as well as my talents and abilities.  At a relatively young age, I realized that I was being called to do Full Time ministry SOMEWHERE, doing SOMETHING for God.  At the time, I thought God was "calling" me to specifically be a worship leader, or heavily involved in music.  I thought this, mostly because that’s what I was doing at the time, and I liked it, and thought I could do it forever.

What I understood much later, was that God didn’t call me to SPECIFICALLY perform a task such as worship leading, or even run a sound board.  He called me to do His will, and to help spread His word.  It took me a while, but I finally came to terms with the fact that maybe God doesn’t call us specifically to do a thing.  In my case, He gave me a set of skills and talents, and free will.  Then, when I mistakenly thought He was telling me to lead worship, he was ACTUALLY telling me to take my gifts, to take my free will to choose my path, and to explore any opportunities that would allow me to use my gifts to glorify Him.  Those open doors could have led me anywhere on earth, and they are what ultimately led me to Las Vegas.  Now, after being here, and being able to identify what my calling really was, I can see that CRCC is exactly where I needed, and still need to be.  Was I specifically called to Canyon Ridge Christian Church?  No.  But there is no doubt in my mind that this is exactly where I am supposed to be.  My JOB as Technical Director is to oversee the Audio, Video, and Lighting Systems at the church….my calling is to use those systems to help, in any way I can, spread the Word of God, and show the Love of God through service.

I encourage and challenge anybody who is in a season of discernment in their lives.  Maybe…just maybe…you aren’t going to get the neon sign falling out of the sky pointing in the direction your life should go.  Pray up; and then look and see what God has given you, and use them to the best of your abilities, to show the best of His, in whatever situation God sneds your way.  He knows what He is doing, even if you don’t.

This blog is similar to the previous one….I have a bad tendency to not blog for several weeks, and then get on a role, and not be able to stop.  Bare with me, or exit the site at any time….Otherwise, please keep all hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, hair, and toes inside the car until it comes to a complete stop.

     Having been a church sound person for nearly 14 years now, I have been a part of COUNTLESS funerals and memorial services, and by that, I mean in the upper hundreds.  I have seen everything from age-induced death, lightning strike victims, cancer victims, murders, terrorist bombing victims, suicides, etc.  Over time, I have developed a numbness to the event, which is really both positive and a negative.  Positive, in the sense that I can get my job done, and focus on meeting the needs of the people in mourning.  Also positive in the fact that with so much hands on experience, I have lots of comforting advice to give to families, from seeing similar scenarios played out over the years.  However, sometimes it can have a negative effect, because I think the callouse that has built up towards deaths has made me seem insensitive.  It’s really not that I am insensitive to what has happened, because many times I have stopped to ponder "what if?", as I am sure many families have done over the years.  I think after a while, I just bypass that initial shock stage, and move right through the recovery stage and into the moving on stage, without even thinking about it.  Being part of the operational side of a funeral service has probably made me view it as a business transaction, or operational task more than a person’s death.  After helping lift 100-200 caskets out of a car, you forget that there is a brother, son, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, sister…in there.

However, a funeral I did last week made me give pause to a thought, like no other funeral has done before. 

The scene was typical, lots of black dresses and flowers everywhere.  A teenager, male, about 15, calmly left the living room where his family was, walked into his bedroom closet, shut the door, sat down, and shot himself in the head.  Unfortunately, a scenario I have delt with before.  In my mind, it was just another kid who thought he had problems, (how many problems do you REALLY have when you are 15?) and decided to provide himself with a long-term solution to a temporary problem.  But then, the boys younger sister by a year, got up, and read a letter that she had written to him after his death….again, something I had seen before.  It had all of the usual sap that you would expect from a 14 year old grieving girl…until about the 3rd paragraph.  My best paraphrase is this:  "Why did you have to do this!?  All I wanted to hear from you was ‘I Love You’, instead, I heard the bullet go through the wall, and I will remember that sound forever.  I thought we were closer than that!?  Why wouldn’t you let me help you?…"  She went on for several more minutes, but that one sentance rang louder than anything else she said: "All I wanted to hear from you was ‘I Love You’, instead, I heard the bullet go through the wall, and I will remember that sound forever."  What a statement.  Most times, parents would edit out graphic details like that before it got to the podium, but there it was, coming across the microphone loud and clear.

What was the last thing you said to someone you love?  I hope and pray that nobody that reads this blog would ever dream of doing something like this young boy did….but in a figurative sense, take a moment and think:  Was the last thing you said to him/her an "I love you", or was it a bullet?  Every day we get a chance to make sure that the last thing people hear INS’T the sound of a bullet going through the wall.  The voice of desperation or the cry of feeling alone is still better than a gunshot.  I hate to think that this boy died in vain, although it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel in these types of situations.  For me, his funeral service was a reminder for me to check up on my relationships, both friends and family, and make sure that no matter the situation, no matter the time, date, place or person, the people that I love KNOW that they are the people that I love….Because THAT is the sound I want them to remember forever…

  Do you ever stop and think about the people you surround yourself with?  I mean, why do you pick the friends that you do?  What qualities do you look for?  Are there different things you want in female friends that you want in male friends?  Are there things that you look for in people that are older, or younger?  Do you set mental parameters as to what type of people you can be friends with?  For some reason, I began to think about these things recently, as I looked at my own sets of acquantences.  I look at my life, and see a trend of always having friends that were my age or older.  I guess I equate this to being a fairly mature person for my age growing up, and I tried to surround myself with people on my "level" more than people my age.  Now, I see I have friends in almost every catogory:  Single guys that are double my age…single guys that are my age…single girls…married guys…..married ladies….a more eclectic list than my former years of life.  Why is that?  I believe as I have grown up, I have been able to develop a deeper understanding of people’s CHARACTER, and maybe not so much their TRAITS.  While this may seem like an oxymoron due to the fact the two words are usually used in tandem, I believe there may be a distinct difference.  A younger me only spotted the TRAITS of people…The fact that they were funny….some were pretty girls….I thought I was smarter than them…..They could drive fast….They also had musical talent…they had video games at their house…etc.  And while some of those traits are worth noting, very few are worth forming or maintaining a real relationship.  An older, more invloved me, has found CHARACTER is much more valuable.  Things that draw my attention NOW, are things that were never on my radar before:  People who are thoughtful, compassionate…People who aren’t afraid to be REAL, and show it’s OK…people who believe something and work hard to prove it.  I find these things are much more vaulable, and almost necessary to form real, lasting relationshps with people.  Necessary, because the TRAITS I looked for long ago mean nothing now, really….Funny is great, but if you have no Compassion, so what?  Driving fast cars and being smarter, those things fade with time.  Pretty girls can’t be a draw anymore, for obvious reasons.  Maybe it’s because of all these traits that haven’t held up, that has caused me to look deeper into myself, and other people.  I find the harder you look at someones character, the less important their traits become, even bad ones.  Say someone has a tendancy to be late…..so what?  That’s a trait….I’d take someone who’s late but Caring ANY DAY over someone who is filled with negativity. 

     The more I think about it, the more I personally believe (with absolutely no Biblical backup that I am aware of at 12:51am) that all of our friends are here for a reason, because they bring something to the table that you will need one day…..maybe someone is your release from a bad day at work…maybe someone is the person you talk to when you are struggling with a problem….maybe someone is there to challenge and grow your character…maybe someone is there to show you love when you feel unloved…..and most importantly….maybe they are there for you to show THEM love when THEY feel unloved….Maybe they are there for you to help THEM through rough times….maybe you are the person taking THEM out to dinner, just to catch up.  I think that’s what our friends are all about….showing each other God’s love; through humble acts of service, and by being there for each other.

    I have developed lots of friendships since I have moved to Las Vegas….Most of which I could say I Love…and many of which I hope are life-long.  I believe many of you subscribe to this blog.  I am thankful every day for the attributes and attitudes I have learned from each and every one of you, and for the things that you have given me, and challenged me with.  I hope that before my time at the Ridge is done, someone can say that they got even 1/10th of what I got from them.

     While I of course think family is important, necessary, and all of that….I think our lives revolve and EVOLVE around the friendships that we make.  Sometimes friendships will fail, sometimes they will be strained, and sometimes even frowned upon, but I know we are put in each others lives for a reason, and I am totally stoked about the challenge of finding out why….

(Editors Note:  Of course, daily excercise, and spiritual growth also helps form who you are, but that didn’t really fit in the above blog )